Cat humor.... never leave home without it.

FRIDAY......

well its almost friday snoochie boochies , and t minus one day till i dress up like a pirate and drink myself into a steady day of humiliation and more "oh no i did not do that"memories for the scrap book , i just have to survive work.

Two days of FUN. Not.

I missed the train and was a good half hour late yesterday morning. Part of me was dissapointed, part of me was absolutely fine with the fact I spend an hour less with my anally retentive wank basket waste of space Boss. Everyone won.

ANYWAY.

It's Friday now, and like Sean said, T-Minus 24 hours til we are dressed like Pirates and screaming abuse at passing ships. We're trying to figure a way in which we can man other ships and take thier booty, but I forgot my grappling hook and Sean gets arrested whenever he even begins to look suspicious.

I've managed to avoid doing anything for almost the entire week, though there isn't enough things to craft nowadays. Most of my post its were used up by Sean when he plastered obscene comments about my mother across my desk for when I arrived in the morning.

IT'S 5PM AND I'M GONNA GET MY DRINK ON!

You make the kitty angry

It's always going to be a good day when i wake up have a nice breakfast , catch the bus to work get off the bus walk down the road , and some dumbass shit for brains attempts to show you why he should never breed by attempting to run you over , Nice! Well kids I am on a twelve hour shift today = almost dying , I am pissed. Wah who gives a shit its friday tomorrow , and i get to party APPLAUSE.... well if i can survive today without being hit by a car or runover by a bus and Iam so watching the skies. I think the universe is sending me a message and it involves more drinking , i hope and woman.

I am never in a bad mood ....its just the medication

Well its wednesday , 48 hours till the weekend and 24 hours till my ass gets paid (yes you can clap and smile) and then i can go and spend it all on booze and loose woman (yes you can clap and smile) who am I fooling with my wages I will just go for the booze. Well i found this to be near smack bang on the money after watching to much television last night.
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
Theodore SturgeonUS science fiction author (1918 - 1985) all you little reality tv bitches (Aka addicts) can bite me , go and get a hobby you'll live longer.

Never mind the flying butt monkeys

Yeah where going to ignore the whole , fruit thing because that is freaking my fragile mind the fuck out and it looks way to much like me and he has been threatening me with the whole voodoo doll thing for weeks. Yeah if anyone wants to see how the beautiful people are absolutely ugly without modern technology follow the link minions http://www.idigitdesign.com/blog/?p=41 yes I am amazing so start the bowing and goat sacrifices. Have a great day , like I care anyway. Its only 259200 seconds to the weekend , thats 72 hours for all you maths dumbshits.

My Amazing Craftsmanship.

Hey kids. Paul again.

I turned a pear into a boy today. I'm a god among office workers.

No, I do not need help thank you.

ENJOY.


Note: Sean was right about the Pirates, so er.. keep an eye out for that. It wont be a good night unless one of us passes out in the street and gets attacked by a labrador. Here's hoping eh?

Why I ought too ...

yeah , wait till i get hold of you for calling me a drunk , yes it is true i drink more than is legally allowed in most countries , but its called liver troubleshooting i fuck my liver up and see how fast the doctors can fix it , well i survived monday and the only reason is the fact that i get to dress like a camp pirate and drink cider likes its going to be in short supply , alchohol mans greatest invention Why? because it makes all the ugly things pretty. And in most cases that will play to your advantage you ugly bastards. Hell yeah its one less day to the weekend. Pics will be provided of my pirate episode with the troops , hangon to your knickers ladies its going to be a rough ride.

I should be working...

Hey.

If the guy down there didn't introduce himself, his name's Sean. He's full of all kinds of angry and chooses to vent them in different ways. He spends 90% of his life drunk, but that's ok too. He's a good guy.

I'm currently working in the office and trying to find different avoidance tactics in terms of work.


So far I've discovered the following:


1) Calling court's and asking how they are. Asking how thier family is. Asking if they're sure. Asking if given the choice, would they consider turning gay for pay. Telling them I could make them famous. Hanging up.

2) Sending abuse to Sean via Email, regarding his mother.

3) Creating different Animals native to Africa out of a Rubber and whatever else I can find in the office. Posting said animals and creating my own 'request an animal' delivery service.

4) Creating weapons. Bows, Samurai Stars, Grappling Hooks. Also delivering on request.

5) Sticking elaborate post - it note cartoons on pieces of lost post, which take the reader through the amazing story of how the post was lost. Delivering back to the post room and awaiting response.

6) Post anonymous David Hasselhoff activity books to the managing partner.

7) Posting random pieces of stationary to my boss. By the hundred. Until he snaps.

8) Internet Blogging.

The list goes on, and I promise I'll start posting some pictures pretty soon.

Have a great day all.

Time to get back to work...

P

Lifes a weird littleman

Well , well the weekend was here now its gone , yes another day in La la land , yes doctor hangover is helping me write this so bear with me. Because drinking your own body weight in beer is not recomended , but still fun and if you are giving me the dissaproving stare I may just have a few wanker caps left for you to wear , because if you have not done it , you have not been to university or highschool or you still live with your mother and wet the bed.

Ah, how i do not kill myself every weekend is a mystery from the attempt at alchohol poisoning to drunken stupidity , the guardian angel needs overtime. But yes next weekend the troops and me are dressing like pirates and going to drink and drink some more , god bless beer and the weekend because its the only way your gonna get laid. Scream for me , its Monday tomorrow